Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?