haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!