a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
