JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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