Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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