He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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