she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
