you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
