called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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