You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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