She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The power of my boobs compel you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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