Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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