Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
