and you said cock pushups were impossible
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
