he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
