your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
