I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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