you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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