I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
