Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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