so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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