Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
