Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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