Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
