wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
this hospital has no fireball
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
