Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
