kristin has been a bad kristin
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
