Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
