We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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