You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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