does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
