I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
