I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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