I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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