My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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