He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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