Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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  (713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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  (631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81
  Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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  (727): He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass. http://tfl.nu/11ss
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (4461) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (671) Bad night (4160) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me

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  (203): dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me http://tfl.nu/k760
  Replies (40) Good night (3023) Bad night (4746) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

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  (865): I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes http://tfl.nu/sup4
  Replies (8) Good night (3220) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.

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  (541): he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married. http://tfl.nu/sari
  Replies (27) Good night (698) Bad night (5197) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

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  (804): I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection. http://tfl.nu/8k0m
  Replies (14) Good night (918) Bad night (4584) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

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  (902): you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face. http://tfl.nu/e2jp
  Replies (16) Good night (4972) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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  (774): Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America. http://tfl.nu/x41k
  Replies (3) Good night (2055) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area

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  (479): Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius? (1-479): If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area http://tfl.nu/19ec
  Replies (10) Good night (1731) Bad night (510)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1039) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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  (309): I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to. http://tfl.nu/ueue
  Replies (10) Good night (564) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

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  (231): You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really http://tfl.nu/kw3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

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