her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.