sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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