is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
