I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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