It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
