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im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
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