Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days