I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.