I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.