i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.