I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
