Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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