they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize