I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
