So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize