is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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