please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
