S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
