I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
