3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
