She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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