Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
