Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wanna go halves on a baby?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
