I think i peed on brittanys purse
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom