dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?