She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.