The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just gargled with NyQuil