Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
