Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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