Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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