yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
