don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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